When I was in college for social work, which feels like forever ago, I had to do volunteer work and internships. I volunteered at a nursing home and my favorite person I visited with was a woman who really taught me what my career was all about. I was supposed to learn about all her wants and needs and make sure that she had the support necessary from her family. But, as we got to know each other she taught me that the thing she wanted the most was just my time. She enjoyed conversations, telling me stories, and learning about what “my generation” was doing these days.
As I advanced in my career, I moved on to work with a much different clientele including domestic violence offenders and people who had issues with alcohol and drug use. That stage in my career was really important because I was trying to help all those people find the good in themselves. But, in order to do that, they needed the gift of time. They needed to share their struggles and concerns and why they were doing some of the negative things that they were.
As we started a family, I went off-road a bit and took a different path in my career, helping build a company and doing some other entrepreneurial-related things. Luckily for me, all of that led to being able to start The Orange Effect Foundation.
I’m in the next phase of my career now. Orange Effect is up and running and we continue to figure out ways to grow and improve it. But, I’m also able to go back to my original roots and do some fun work with senior citizens. Generally, those in need of someone to visit them or give them a ride to doctor appointments or the grocery store.
Recently I was visiting my almost 97-year-old Aunt during her shows (aka soap operas). We watched a scene with a father character at lunch with his daughter who wanted to talk to him about her strategy to become the captain of her soccer team. The dad was completely distracted by his phone the entire time. He was so disconnected from her that I really thought the writers of the show were overdoing it to make the point of how rude it is to be on your phone in instances like that.
Sometimes in my endeavors, I get task-oriented. I want to schedule the times to help them out and get them to appointments or pick up groceries that they need. I want to check it off the list so to speak and move along to the next task. But, I was recently reminded that all they really want is the gift of time. They want to go to lunch and talk about things in the world or tell stories from their past. Do not get me wrong, they are more than grateful for my help with the day-to-day tasks. But when I see them most appreciative, it is when someone gives them a little bit of time.
So here’s to not being on our phones during meals with our children. Make sure we check in with our parents or other family members, especially those a bit isolated. And lastly remember to appreciate when our friends (like the one posting this blog for me) give us the gift of their time.
